Eventfully Yours

7 Signs You're Not A Good Guest

With the holiday season upon us, chances are, you've been invited to many parties.  If you haven't been invited to any, then the following list is for you.  If you are guilty of any of these offenses, now is the time to clean up your act and get back on those guest lists.

• Bring Your Own Entourage: Unless the invitation clearly states you and a guest, assume you are the only one invited.  When in doubt, call the host before hand and ask.  Better to do this than show up with someone and get dirty looks all night.

• Think Free Drinks Equals Drink More:  Unfortunately, when the drinks are free many people take that as their chance to sample everything at the bar and drink way too much.  Don't be the person that destroys relationships by talking too much or even worse, throwing up into someone's house plant.  Moderation is the key!

• Not Eat All Day In Anticipation:  While a host loves to see that their guests enjoy their spread, it is not good manners to devour everything in sight, especially if other guests have not been served.  If possible, have a small bite to eat before arriving at the party.

• Keep The Phone Lines Open:  You're invited to a party under the premise that you will socialize with the other guests in attendance, not to call or text your other friends who were not invited.  Politely excuse yourself if you absolutely must take a call and step outside or into another room.

• Talk All About Yourself:  Sure, you may be the coolest thing since sliced bread, but don't dominate the conversation talking all about yourself.  If people ask about what you do, answer but try to also ask them something about themselves.

• Pour It On Too Thick:  Do you tend to get a little heavy handed when it comes to putting on perfume or cologne?  That is not good, as many people are allergic to some scents.  One spritz is almost always enough, if you need more than that, you may want to hit the shower before you go.  On a related note, pop a mint before engaging in conversation.  There's nothing worse than talking to someone with dragon breath.

• Come Empty Handed:  It is really a very nice gesture to bring a small gift for the host or hostess to show your appreciation for the invite.  It can be something as simple as a candle or bottle of wine.

Guest Etiquette

I spend so much time discussing the etiquette rules for hosts or hostesses, I thought that it was time that I turned my attention to the guests!  Here are just a few rules for you:

1.  R.S.V.P        
As an event planner, I must admit that even I have forgotten to send in an R.S.V.P. card, a few              times.  Ok, a lot!  LOL!  As soon as you get the invitation in the mail or by email, respond.  It makes           planning so difficult when people have to chase their invitees down to see if they are coming.                     Guess what, people pay for those response cards for a reason.  Use them!

2.  Don't ask to bring other people

Sometimes people have a set limit to the amount of people that they can afford to invite.  As a guest, we should be happy to be invited.  If you feel uncomfortable going because you feel that you will be alone then consider not attending.

3.  Be on your best behavior

An open bar does not mean drink as much as you can.  Same for a buffet.  A friend's party is not the time to settle an old argument.

4.  Say Thank You

Everyone wants to know that they are appreciated and being thanked for something is a great start.  Just think the host could've invited someone else, but chose you.  Free food, drinks and music!?  How often do you get all that for free?

Casual, Semi-Formal, and Formal, Oh My!

How many times have you received an invitation in the mail and read the dreaded "formal attire" only to think to yourself, I don't know what to wear!  Well, I have comprised a list that will help you to figure it out the next time.

Formal Attire
Women                                                                                Men
Full Length, formal ball gowns                                 Tuxedo
Full length, formal sheath dresses
Dresses in shinier fabrics for evening events
Dresses in non-shiny fabrics for daytime events      

Semi-Formal
Women                                                                                    Men
Cocktail-length or beveled-length dresses                Tuxedo
Dresses in shinier fabrics for evening events            Dark Suits with tie
Dresses in non-shiny fabrics for daytime events

Casual
Women                                                                                   Men
Knee-length dresses                                                            Blazer with khaki pants
Slipdresses                                                                             Button down shirt with khaki pants
Sundress

This is just a starting point for you and you can work from here.  Ladies don't be alarmed, I know there are nice formal pant suits available out there as well.  Those are also a great option!

Until next time, eventfully yours!
Kandice

Selecting Your Wedding Party

Weddings are a time to celebrate and unfortunately sometimes a source of great stress.  The bride and groom must second guess themselves every step of the way, especially when it comes to selecting their bridal party.

How do you select some people without offending others?  This is where etiquette becomes a two way street.  Those unchosen few must respect your decision and live with it.  How do you go about making the final choices?  Follow these criteria:

• people who are currently close to you
• people you know you can depend on
• people who will be comforting to you when you need it
• people you know will be in your life for a very long time
• people for whom serving in your wedding party will not be a burden

Extending the Invitation
In these days of cyber space it is so easy to just casually send off an email evite to prospective wedding party members.  Pick up the phone instead.  Also ask, don't tell.

What if someone says no?  Don't take it personal.  Obviously, there is something going on with that person that prevents them from being a part of your  special day in that way.  If they don't offer up an explanation, don't ask and don't try to talk them into it.  You must respect their decision.

If money is the issue, tread lightly.  You can offer to pay their expenses, but go about it tactfully.  If that doesn't go over well, offer them another job as part of the ceremony, maybe a poetry reading.

For those that do accept the invitation to become part of your wedding party, try not to chose the most expensive dress or tuxedo on the market!!!

Until next time, eventfully yours!